Your Ambition is NOT the Problem.
There’s a message that often finds us when we’re exhausted—
one that’s shared with care, even by therapists and mentors.
A story you may recognise…
That once you’ve pushed too hard… once you’ve burnt out…
once your body, mind, or spirit says “enough”—
the answer is to finally let go.
To give up the drive.
To surrender to stillness.
To choose peace instead of ambition.
And at first, that can sound like healing.
Like wisdom.
Like permission to give ourselves the thing we never gave ourselves permission to have.
But beneath the surface, there’s something else—
a subtle message tucked inside that might not be entirely true.
A message that says:
Your ambition is the problem.
That wanting big, moving fast, even having a vision…
is what broke you.
But let me tickle your thinking and offer another perspective.
What if it’s not your ambition that hurts you.
What if it’s the force behind it.
What if… it’s not the fire that needs to go…
but the fuel.
“It’s not your ambition that burns you out—
it’s the part of you trying to prove you’re worthy of having it.”
— Madelaine Vallin
Many don’t talk about this but there are actually different kinds of ambition.
Think of them as different kinds of fire—each one fuelling you on your path in a different way.
The extrinsic fire.
When we’re driven by this kind of fire,
we’re often chasing what’s outside of us.
Approval. Validation. The desire to be chosen.
To be seen as “enough.”
And it works… for a while.
It gets things done.
It pushes us forward.
It can even look like success.
But the thing is—
the finish line keeps moving.
And deep down, this fire is often fuelled by a quiet, lingering belief:
“I’m still not enough.”
You might know that feeling.
It’s urgent.
It’s fast.
It’s hungry.
It builds—but it also burns.
And eventually… it burns you.
Then there’s the intrinsic fire.
This one’s different.
It comes from within.
The kind of ambition we speak about in positive psychology—
the one fuelled by meaning, curiosity, and purpose.
It’s not trying to prove anything.
It’s trying to express something.
It moves at your pace.
It honours your truth.
It doesn’t perform.
It creates for the joy of creating.
It builds because something inside you says, “Yes, this matters.”
It’s quieter.
More sustainable.
And it doesn’t need an audience to keep burning.
“There’s ambition that comes from hunger… and then there’s ambition that comes from wholeness.
One chases. The other chooses.”
— Madelaine Vallin
And then… there’s the sovereign fire.
This one’s a little harder to name at first—
because it doesn’t come from striving,
and it doesn’t quite come from joy either.
It comes from knowing.
From being rooted.
From truth.
The sovereign fire rises after you’ve done some healing.
After you’ve seen the ways you’ve chased, performed, pushed—
and you’ve gently begun to let those patterns go.
It’s not here to prove.
And it’s not even here to shine.
It’s here to serve.
To create because something in you says:
“This is mine to give.”
This fire is steady.
It doesn’t flicker in the wind.
It doesn’t burn out in a rush of adrenaline.
It glows from within, grounded in your values, your rhythm, your pace.
What if burnout isn’t about doing too much…
but about being disconnected from what gives us life?
Martin Seligman, one of the key voices in positive psychology, offers this insight on the topic of burnout, inner peace, and ambition:
“Burnout doesn’t just come from doing too much.
Sometimes it comes from doing too little of what makes life feel meaningful.”
Think about that…it’s not about giving up ambition, but about coming home to a version of it that no longer costs you yourself.
“Healed ambition doesn’t shrink—it becomes sacred.
It doesn’t go quiet. It goes true.”
— Madelaine Vallin
So let me ask you…
What’s fuelling your ambition right now?
Is it still tied to proving something?
Is it still connected to an old voice?
A parent?
A version of you that never quite felt seen?
And what would it feel like to stop chasing…
and start creating from wholeness instead?
Because you probably don’t need to let go of your ambition to heal.
You need to look at the story underneath it.
You need to change the fuel.
In Frid (and ambition), Madelaine