Are you feeling indecisive? Try this.
Are you avoiding making a decision right now because you are afraid to make the wrong choice? There are moments in everyone’s lives where we feel unsure and afraid to make a bad call. But it’s actually not that important what decisions we make; what really matters is that we make the decision at all.
“It’s not the decision you make, it’s making the decision.”
I find indecisiveness the Achilles heel for many clients in my private practice. Being in a place of indecision will often make clients feel gutless and stuck. So how do we support our clients powerfully through this?
The Quest to Cultivate Courage & Trust
Helping our clients cultivate Courage & Trust is a hugely important part of the coaching relationship, and it’s of particular importance when it comes to decision making. Many believe that you need confidence to cultivate courage, but confidence is not necessary to be more courageous. To be courageous means to feel the fear and do it anyway. It means daring to take the step, even when we feel uncertain. And guess what happens when we do that over and over? We grow our confidence! In this way, confidence is a by-product of being courageous and trusting that life will support us.
Help Your Clients Find The Courage To Make The Call.
For us as coaches and counsellors, it’s not whether the client will make the right choice that matters; it’s helping them make a decision in the first place. Once they choose, they will often experience a weight being lifted off their shoulders, they can finally move progress. They are on their way. They have said yes to themselves by permitting themselves to move forward, and the decision turned out to be less important than they initially thought! They may have even made the wrong one, but it’s less important now as they know they can make another one!
We have all heard the saying, “All roads lead to Rome.” In the same spirit, imagine all decisions we make head towards the same destination. If all roads lead to Rome, deciding which road to take is merely about which route to choose, the end goal is already set.
So instead of holding off making the decision, help your clients make the call and trust the process. The path they choose will take them towards their destination. In a sense, they can’t go wrong. Help them to trust their inner guidance will show them the next move, whatever happens. Remind them they are capable of dealing with more adversities than they might think. Help them cultivate the courage to choose and the courage to trust that they will be able to manage whatever comes their way.
Maybe you can use a bit of courage right now, or perhaps someone you know could benefit from some. We cannot take our clients deeper than we have gone ourselves. Your inner work is the most important work you can do for yourself. If you are ready to work together, I would love to connect with you.
In the meantime, to get you on your way, try this exercise:
Take a few deep breaths in and out of your nose. Breathing this way will evoke the Relaxation Response in your body. Then, tune into the colour yellow. See if you can visualise it all through your body. Feel it all around you. If it feels right, you can imagine it as a bubble all around you. Practise breathing in the yellow air around you. Feel it going in and out of your lungs now. And with the air, it travels into your bloodstream, your body, through all the cells. Like a child in its mother’s womb breathing the fluid in and out of its lungs, so are you breathing this yellow colour in and out of your lungs now.
Feeling comfort. Feeling Calm. Feeling Safe.
Imagine now all the people that have walked on this earth, breathing the same air as you do now. All the great leaders, wise men and women who have walked this earth were breathing the air as you do now. You are breathing the same air as all the great courageous leaders who have walked this land before you. Like Buddha, Jesus, Gandhi. Every breath you take, every atom you ingest is composed of atoms from ancient times. Every breath you take has been associated with another living organism. We share this air with all living species on our planet. Like the courageous lion, connected by the same air.
Picture a mighty lion in front of you right now. Gaze into its eyes, feel the power. Breathe in that energy. Feel into it. Open up to it. Where in your body do you feel its power now? Where do you hold it? What does it feel like? Is it warm? Is it heavy or light? Tune into this fullness of this feeling now. Expand it through your body. Hold space for it. This is part of you. This is you. By opening up, you made a choice to shine a light on this part of you. It’s not new, always has, always will be you. Maybe you can feel the confidence in that knowing right now. The confidence that grew from having the courage to open up to MORE.
Coming from this place, you can’t go wrong. Every decision you make will lead you towards your goal. The action to choose becomes the path. You are carving your path, and no matter what happens, you will follow the deep inner knowing and trust your way.
All roads lead to your destination. You cannot go wrong.
And connected to this profound inner truth, you feel a sense of confidence now. You don’t know why, and you don’t need to know.
Imagine yourself under a warm shower now. Cool water washing away any insecurities, any worries about the future or past. Washing it all away into the earth underneath you until the water below is all clear. Feeling the warm sun rays now against your skin as you step out of the water.
Feeling them gently burn away anything that does not serve you.
And as you prepare to leave this space right now, you will remember every positive emotion. Bring those positive feelings of confidence and trust with you into the present moment. Knowing whatever comes your way, you cannot get it wrong when you connect within. All roads leading to your destination.
And I’m going to count from 1-5 now, and at 5, you will be back here in the present, taking all those positive feelings back with you…
In Love. Madelaine ♥️