WHEN YOU’VE HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE WITH A COACH OR THERAPIST :(
Have you ever had a bad experience with a health practitioner such as a counsellor or therapist?
Maybe you didn’t feel heard, misunderstood, or judged. But, whatever happened, it probably left you with an uncomfortable feeling inside.
If you or someone you know is feeling vulnerable and sad after a bad experience with a counsellor or therapist, here are some tips to help you move on and grow from this event:
✔︎ Remind yourself it’s not your fault and that change is still 100% possible
Believe it or not, this bad experience probably had very little to do with you. Unfortunately, some health practitioners are not fit to be in this profession. Some people are attracted to this business line when looking to heal their own traumas and emotional pain. They don’t understand we must heal ourselves first before we help others. For this reason, I always recommend our students at ASHC to do some inner work with a Holistic Counsellor or similar alongside their studies. We cannot take our clients deeper than we have allowed ourselves to go. Whatever was said in the session, know that it tells more of a story about the therapist than yourself, that change still is 100% possible. I have had clients who have had unfavourable results and experiences with other health practitioners that come to me and shift their whole lives in a few sessions.
There are many excellent practitioners out there ready to support and help you. Ask for recommendations from others. It’s always a safer bet if someone has had a positive outcome with someone before.
✔︎ Look after yourself and remember your wholeness.
If it feels right, look into yourself and see what this person has triggered in you. Tune into your emotions and allow those feelings some extra space. Remember to breathe deeply. If you are an empath, it can help to go one more step here and let some of that restless energy go by silently repeat “release what’s not mine” in your mind over and over. Trust that your superconscious knows what needs to be cleared. For an even more significant effect, put one hand on one of your shoulders and keep it there as you repeat the words. Do this exercise as much as needed throughout the day.
✔︎ Use F.A.C
Once you are over the initial pain, take this experience to remind you what NOT to look for in a coach or therapist. Then, tune into your greatness and lean into the inner peace that is always available. A great tool I use myself and often share with clients to help let go and find inner peace is the F.A.C triangle or “The Three Pillars of Inner Peace”:
These three areas combined will help with healing & letting go. You can practice them in many different ways, from simple to complex. It’s best if you incorporate a practice in each area every day. It can be as simple as brining it into your daily meditations or using your journal.
Tips on how to implement the F.A.C Triangle:
Put your hand on your shoulder and recite silently in your mind five times: “I forgive myself and everyone that’s ever hurt me.”
Training yourself to feel gratitude is crucial when we seek to create greater peace. Here’s a simple way to build gratitude:
- Think of 3 things you appreciate in your life. The simpler the better.
- Choose one of the things you appreciate and write about it.
- When you feel the emotion of gratitude in your heart, expand it from your heart-centre throughout your whole body.
- Smile and hold the feeling of appreciation as long as you can.
Remind yourself that we all have our battles to fight; maybe the person trying to help you is suffering too. Even if that doesn’t justify what was said, it can help you feel a sense of compassion for the person struggling inside. Silently say: “I honour the light in you and wish you well.” Then let them go.
Healing is simple but not always easy. It takes time. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself a little bit extra just now. Reach out to loved ones, and don’t be afraid to seek other professional support if you need it; there are so many outstanding practitioners available.
I hope this serves you,
Lots of love, Madelaine ♥️